Screw the State: Part 3

In continuation to my proposed changes to government for the people by the people, I would like all politician serving the legislative and executive branches of government, hell, lets include bureaucrats as well, undergo the equivalent of a voter constituent exit exam. 

 

Upon completion of serving (all consecutive elective terms in the case of congress) all eligible voters who were responsible for electing you to office, will receive the opportunity to rate your performance while you served your term(s). Based on your performance, they will vote upon the percentage of federal retirements your job performance makes you eligible for. Does that make you a little nervous as a politician?

 

It shouldn’t. in my infinite generosity, I am willing to offer you the opportunity to opt out of federal retirement, and go for plain vanilla social security. There’s no catch. With one, you have a generous pension, provided you served the people well. With the the other, you have an guaranteed sum equal to what your peers will have. What did you say you’re concerned about the stability of social security? I’m sorry I can’t hear you, you need to speak a little louder.

 

Maybe if the legislative branch relied on the same governmental programs congress did, the services provided would become a priority.

 

I think it would also be prudent to include the president in this policy as well. I can’t think of a logical reason to provide civil security to any individual for ten years when they exit the highest office in the land with an approval rating of less than fifty percent. No need to call names….You know exactly who you are.

Screw the State: Part 2

Last, Wednesday evening I opted to ignore the last presidential debate in favor of consuming two bottles of wine. The state of California doesn’t produces enough grapes to properly lubricate me enough to endure another public confrontation between two guys who point fingers, leave their dirty socks on the floor, and look like they forgot to remove the hangers from their shirts.

In continuation of the proposed changes I wish to make to our government, I would grant federal tax paying citizens the right to vote on the budgetary matters. Forget checking the box to donate $3 to presidential election financing. That isn’t enough influence on how your tax dollars are spent. The people in my calling circle would be disappointed to discover their three dollar allocation was being wasted on a prank robocall weeks before election day. Like I would knowingly finance the shit shoveling telephone call that interrupts my sit-down-family dinner. As if.

What I am proposing is that tax paying citizens be allowed to vote directly upon how their tax dollars are spent rather than have their intent filtered, poorly refined through the voting power of an independently wealthy thesaurus memorizing political douchebag.

Here’s how it works. Each year when you file your income tax return, you allocate the manner in which 70% of your tax contribution will be spent. Government officials will be allowed the privilege of managing the remaining 30%. Your money should work for you the people, not them the politicians. Special interest groups have the the resources to finance lobbyist ensuring their cause remains highly visible to the powers that be, but what about the rest of us? Who gives rat’s arse about the average citizen financing this debacle?

If you want roads, allocate a portion of tax donation for infrastructure. If you want your money out of foreign nations and working for the homeless citizens of the USA, allocate it. If you want funding funding for planned-parenthood and sex-education in schools, don’t allow your tax dollars to be used for abstinence only education. If you don’t approve of the job your congressional representatives are performing, hit them where it counts and vote with your wallet.

By controlling he purse strings in Washington, we would return the power to the people where it belongs.

Poetry Friday Tuesday: Taste

Mona thew out Poetry Friday’s selection in a timely manner, but I was unable to consummate a wordy relationship with the efficiency laid out by her 5k example setting. That and Missus Chica absconded with the computer for five days…The nerve. There will be consequences….after the tuna is served.

This weeks love offering is taste.

What if the brain center that interpreted feelings crossed synapses with the brain center that interprets taste? How would your emotions taste?

Happiness would taste like a rich cheesecake about the size of a petit four. If it were larger, it would be difficult to appreciate the individual nuances of flavor. With larger portions there is a tendency to overwhelm the taste buds and you begin taking the entire experience for granted. You cease enjoying the taste, and become obsessed by the notion of quantity. Quantity is simply more not necessarily better thus desensitizing the ability to fully appreciate the sensation at its peak.

Contentedness would mimmic a warm beverage. Mine would be coffee or tea. The first sip and the way it spreads warmth through your body on a cold day, encourage me to relax my shoulders and breath in the moment. The first sip and scent are the best, but the lingering radiance lures me into a zen-like state of relaxation.

Guilt would taste like refried beans or possibly corned beef and cabbage. The initial encounter is bursting with flavor, the spices appeal to nose as well as the palette. Later, when your colon inflates to the size of the Hindenburg, you begin having second thoughts. You knew better than to overindulge. Now you are left to contemplate your misguided selfishness in a cloud of green gas.

Depression doesn’t have a taste. If it did, it wouldn’t matter, because your appetite is on strike anyway.

Anticipation would resemble fresh baked cookies, still warm from the oven. The first bite is usually the best, and it seldom lives up to the sinful aroma emanating from the oven.

Anger could be like wasabi or jalapeño peppers. Wasabi is the quickly dispersed anger. You have a brief outburst that passes as quickly as it arrived. Jalapeños are the anger you hold onto longer than necessary. The overall heat isn’t as potent but it burns the back of your throat all the way to your stomach. And the fun isn’t over then…

Sadness would taste like leftover dry pot roast. Any quantity is too much, but you have no choice but to consume it because you paid too much for the damn roast.

Desire would taste salty the gentle nibble on a lover’s shoulder.

What do you taste today?

Red State, Blue State, Free State, Screw the State

You can’t swing a dead cat without striking a campaign sign, a mega church, or a politician with a low approval rating. We have serious problems. We are running out of surplus dead cats, and the bailout plan doesn’t include a provision to protect the live ones. The two party political system is the short bus of leadership choices under the best of circumstances, and parties have serious defects, though one has overachieved more in the defective department .

Politics have been a sore subject in this house, leading to irrational threats, hand gestures and excessive margarita consumption. Last month, Missus Chica threatened to us the parental channel blocking feature on the cable box to prevent the Mister from accessing news channels. Someone seems to be of the opinion that no news is good news. I can’t afford to bury my head in the sand, the issues are just to damned important. What if the next president is ant-tuna. Then what will I eat? Dolphin? Chinchilla?

It isn’t enough to engage pedestrian name calling and classify it as a campaign strategy, we need more action and less noise pollution. Talking points are meritless if you show up for a televised debate with no formulated plan for executing your ideas. Ideas are good, but after eight years of ideas, I need to know you have an inkling as to how to deliver.

There was a time when the differences between Democrats and Republicans were more easily defined. Now it seems as though both parties have abandon any belief in fiscal responsibility. One party is obsessed with legislating morality, and the other party is obsessed with saving people from poor choices. Neither method seems to be effective.This year, I think it is more important than ever to think beyond the party. I think our government needs to change fundamentally. In the weeks leading up to the election, I’ll post recommended changes to our current government.

Let’s start with the electoral college. One would think that our legislative branch would have learned a key lesson in 2000 when our executive branch was determined by our judicial branch. When the electoral college was formed, America was a different place. Information was not exchanged as readily as it is today. The voters were not as informed about political candidates, and the electoral college was a sprinkler head installed to diffuse the ignorance of the uninformed voter. WIth the winners takes all philosophy embedded into the electoral college, how can a republican voting in California, or a democrat voting in Texas, or an anarchist voting, or an independent voting anywhere, feel like their vote counts?

The public is more informed, though maybe not more knowledgeable, than they were during the ratification years of of our constitution. We’ve learned a few things since our forefathers took matters into their own hands. For starters, we learned that while the draftsmen of our constitution had noble intentions of serving their country, they didn’t have noble intentions of serving all its people. Racial suffrage and women’s suffrage weren’t amended to the constitution until 1869 and 1920, respectively. As they say, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. If our founding fathers could be so misguided about voting rights, perhaps we should reconsider whether their old voting policies have any place in an informed society.

Poetry Friday: Touch

Greetings readers of good humor! Thanks for all your supportive comments last week. I spent this week in a form of political stupor, mostly spent engaging in serious tequila shots, and serious negotiations with a professional aesthetician. I’ having trouble locating a reputable professional who doesn’t discriminate against domestic animals. Did you know pussy was a double entendre? It’s just as well, I hear the procedure is quite painful and the fur just grows back thicker and darker.

This week’s offering for Poetry Friday as set forth by our lovely dominatrix of words, Mona is touch, so on the count of three, everyone touch yourself! One….Two….. Three…Wait not you! Customers are watching!