Poetry Friday Followup: Positive

Well it’s finally later. I guess you thought later would never come.

 

Sunset Crater State Park, Arizona

 

Azalea, My back yard

 

Yours truly, making love to the kitchen counter after one too many hits on the catnip

 

Honolulu, Hawaii

 

Mating season

 

Fort Pulaski, Savannah, GA

 

The Japanese Garden, Washington Arboretum

Poetry Friday: Negative

Yeah, so Poetry Friday was yesterday and I’m late. I’m outta words, but Mona said THE WORD is negative. So I offer you negative images.

Don’t fret, I will post the positives later. Happy Saturday, all!

Burnin’, Burnin’, Cheap Chair Inferno…

I mentioned a week ago we are relocating. I have to be perfectly honest. I’m not sure what moving entails, but apparently it merits secret rituals that completely escape the logic of the average house cat. Since I am in the gifted house cat program, I will take the time to explain one of them to you. Ritual cathartic burning. I’ve spoken of similar rites in the past. But it doesn’t compare to the effort that went into this one.

Did you know when one purchases inferior lawn furniture, and falls ass-over-tea-kettle onto the paver patio in front of one’s parents, one is entitled to a refund on said furniture if purchased within fourteen months? I didn’t know that either until the Mister suggested to the manufacturer his mother could have broken her hip from the fall had she sat in the chair that gave away. The company tried to buck the issue, until the Mister mentioned it was advertised as outdoor furniture. Lesson to all, shorea is NOT an economical alternative to teak, unless you want to find yourself laying on the ground.

A refund check later, the Missus was trying to decide if any portion of the patio suite could be salvaged. After she fell on her ass and dropped an adult beverage through the table slats the verdict became, uh, nope.

After the move was announced, the Missus proceeded to make a list of improvements that needed to made before the house was placed the market.

Then she proceeded to attack the list. Apparently a refund check wasn’t good enough. She needed a lawn chair funeral pyre to cleanse all the toxin from her soul.

First, she arrived with one arm and a crowbar that makes her ass look really big.

Next she selected her target. Do not be swayed by the artistic lighting on this lawn chair. It is really a dangerous coccyx shattering instrument of death captured by a skillful pornography photographer.

After the damage had been inflicted, the Missus carried the collateral damage to her trusty chiminea. The chiminea is dual purpose, good, as well as, evil. In fact, I remember one New Year’s Eve when it kept the deck warm so the Mister and Missus could, uh never mind, T.M.I…

Let the flames begin!

Yes, the chiminea is exhibiting a thirty inch afterburner. No, that was not recommended by the manufacturer. Hells yes! it was validating.

Disclaimer: No Holly trees were harmed in this photo essay. None of the wood was treated with harmful chemicals which cause cancer when burned. Only lawn furniture was sacrificed in the making of this photo essay. Yes, euphoria was a side effect experienced by all.

Poetry Friday: Away

Our beloved temptress of the human language has been conjuring up inspiration again. This weeks selection is away. Ironically it’s a topic I will be more prepared to discuss after my big road trip. Have a happy weekend, all!