The Grand Mother of Gaffs

I’ve mentioned the Missus’s grandmother, Big Mama in the past, a few times. What I am about to offer, is by no means an acceptable tribute to mothers in the throes of child-rearing. Instead, it is a glimpse of what happens when you postpone your adolescence sixty years, it’s also pretty damn funny.

Big Mama was product of the depression era. She grew up in a large family in a small town. When she was fifteen she eloped with a tall handsome red head. They were so fearful of their actions that they each went to the respective homes and did not tell their families for a week. It was a different time then. When she was sixteen, she gave birth to her first child. Yeah, children having children. She and the handsome red head raised three well adjusted, thoughtful, young women together. They worked hard together and had a nice life.

After spending years as a role model, Big Mama begin letting go of the restraint and formality that confine adults, especially dignified adults. As a teenager, the Missus noticed that Big Mama was quite a flirtatious woman. She enjoyed making physical contact with men, and women, but mostly men. Hugging, kissing on the cheek, shoving, touching the shoulder etc.

On the occasion in question, Big Mama was shopping at the local mall, and spied her grandson entering a store, The County Seat. She immediately followed, but lost sight of him in the clothes racks. Spying a tall young man, she walked behind him and grabbed a hand-full of ass. The young man looks down at her absolutely bumfucked and this young man was not HER grandson. Her grandson was at another rack of clothes laughing at her expense. Grandson walked over and formally introduces himself, and Big Mama to the shocked stranger. Everyone shared a good a laugh, and no sexual assault charges were filed.

Months later, Grandson saw Shocked Stranger at the community college. Shocked Stranger called out to him, “I remember you. You grandmother felt me up at the County Seat.”

Happy Mother’s Day!