Want some?

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”  –Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

I offer up the above quotation to defend my irreverent portrayal of the previous weeks posts. Sometimes, we have to laugh about things to keep from crying about them, but that doesn’t means we don’t understand or respect the gravity of the situation. If the previous statement doesn’t expose my guilty conscious, then nothing will.

With all these forlorn tales about aging, I thought I should offer up a more light-hearted glimpse of life with your soul mate. When Missus Chica was a sophomore in college, she periodically stayed with an aunt to reduce commuting time when she had early classes. Other family members also had a key to the aunt’s house and would periodically show up for a potty break or a snack from the fridge, or a more comfortable place to sit until they got their second wind.

One afternoon Missus Chica was hanging out at the aunt’s house in between classes when her grandparents stopped for a visit. Her grandparents are known affectionately as Big Mama and Big Daddy. Now Big Daddy was a big man and lived up to his name at six foot four and two-hundred and forty pounds. Big Mama, on the other hand, was a scrawny little woman that weighing less than a hundred and five pounds, soaking wet. Though Big Mama lacked the physical presence to justify her name, she made up for it in personality.

Big Mama and Big Daddy had been married for almost sixty years, and they shared characteristics that most soul mates do. They saw to one another’s needs, they read one another’s thoughts and completely adored each other. Missus Chica couldn’t recall either one of them exchanging a cross word in front of the grandchildren. Ever. They typified the well-mannered decorum that most of their generation exemplified. They presented themselves as teetotaler, love thy neighbor, honor thy father and mother, speak ill of no man, kind of people. As you can imagine, the expended lots effort washing Missus Chica’s mouth out with soap….and to no avail at that.

Missus Chica put forth every effort to be a good hostess during their brief visit. She helped her grandfather into the house and found him a comfortable chair. She followed Big Mama into the kitchen to engage in a little small talk and prepare refreshments.

“Big Mama, would you and Big Daddy care for something to drink?”

“Yeah, I believe I would like a diet soda.” Big Mama rolls her eyes. “Let me see what he would like.”

Next she yells in the direction of the living room, “Honey, would you like something to drink.” Then she pauses and mumbles under breath, “he’s going to want whatever I’m having..”

A voice calls out from the living room, “I don’t really want much.” He pauses and then continues, “I’ll just share yours. What are you having?”

Big Mama rolls her eyes, shakes her head, and sighs deeply. Next, she mumbles, “I’m having cat shit. Do you want some of that?”